Too Much Time

My husband sent me this today.  He kept insisting that I read it.  So when I finally did, I had to laugh.  He obviously has too much time on his hands!

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ONE SUSPECT SOUGHT IN COSTCO ROBBERY (October 31, 2012) FRISCO, TX – Frisco police are seeking assistance in identifying a lone gunwoman that robbed the Costco located at 11220 Dallas Pkwy. The incident occurred at approximately 10:44 a.m. today, 10/31/2012. A white female entered through the exit door of the location, walked to the return/exchange counter and presented a black handgun, while requesting money from the cashier. The cashier complied with the suspect’s command and gave her an undisclosed amount of cash from the register. The suspect fled the scene through the same exit door she in which entered. The suspect is described as follows: white female, obviously non-Jeb-died reddish brown hair, 35 to 40 years of age, approximately 5’4” - 5’6”, weighing between 110 and 130 pounds. She spoke with a Texified Chicago accent and was last seen wearing a dark colored Old Navy jacket over a light colored American Eagle long sleeve shirt, light colored blue jeans and white athletic shoes. She was also wearing a dark colored stocking cap, black Paris Hilton style sunglasses, and a white surgical/dust mask. She appeared to have spittle on her shirt. The make/model of the handgun is unknown. The suspect mumbled something about formula being expensive and thundering squirts being hungry. The police have not yet determined the significance of this statement, and suspect the involvement of drugs, alcohol, cabin fever, or dementia. The Frisco Police Department is currently investigating the case and asks that anyone with information contact the department’s non-emergency number at 972.296.6010. For more information on this case, please refer to Frisco Police Department CFS# 12-98020